--As I sit here at my computer desk wrapped in the most comfortable blanket in the world (no, I'm not exaggerating!), I can't help but grin just slightly. It's not something that I can help, either. These past few weeks of my life have really opened my eyes and allowed me to realize the kind of person I'm growing into. I'm proud of myself. Coming into the situation of MTSU and the apartment, I predicted miserable failure on my part. It was something new that I had never experienced before and I assumed that I wasn't going to be able to be a mature adult. I've already proven myself wrong, and I feel satisfied. Every now and again, I start to feel homesick for my parents, for my dogs, for my brother, my comfortable non-squeaky bed, home cooked meals, normal-sized vacuums, adequate amounts of soap, clean dishes, etc. Then, I remember that this is such an exciting/interesting time in life, there are so many opportunities, so many new experiences. And, my family members are just as proud of me as I am, which is completely rewarding.

--I'm getting kind of sleepy, so I'll just vaguely discuss other points that I wanted to address.


--I enjoy school. Yes, I, Liana Mizell, actually like going to class every week day. I jump out of bed excited to start my day, excited to learn in class, excited to see who I'll meet along the way. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm actually paying for this education, or maybe I've just gotten extremely weird. Regardless, all I know is, I love college--just like that one song says.

--Sooo I'll write about the following at a later date:
-My room mates are the best I could ask for!
-Stevie Wonder, the Temptations, and Queen
-Acquiring a small pet
-family dinners
-new foods
-our weirdy neighbors
-walking
-the balcony

--Last weekend, I visited the largest home in America. Since then, I've been trying to come up with worthy words that would be able to describe the incredible sights of Biltmore Estate appropriately. However, I feel as though nothing I could say, no picture I could post, would do justice. It's that amazing. It took my breath away...and, apparently, my ability to write. Haha

"Life"

--There are approximately sixteen days until I embark on the biggest adventure of my 18 years of life. As I look around my room, it couldn't be more obvious-- piles everywhere, disarray. Kitchen utensils, food, cleaning supplies, winter hats and mittens, books, pictures, clothes overflowing from cardboard moving boxes. It feels like this process happened recently, and it's because it has. Two months ago, I packed everything I own into little brown boxes and relocated to this small town in North Carolina with my parents. Fast forward two months, and I'm packing up (most) everything I own to move back to Tennessee. This time, though, I'm moving by myself. I suppose the only way to describe this moving back and forth craziness is to stick it with the title, "Life", and run with it. And, for the first time since my college decision, I feel completely confident saying, "I'm ready for the challenge."

Just a phase?

--Um...well...I...I just have to go ahead and say it. I don't think I'm going to explore journalism as a possible major (or minor) in college. It's weird when you think you know what you want to do (since freshman year of high school) with the rest of your life and then you realize that maybe your heart just doesn't lie in it anymore. I enjoy writing occasionally. I think I'm a pretty average writer, however, there isn't really a distinct spark about my style. It just is. And, a "just is" kind of style isn't enough in the journalism world. I truly believe that if I was passionate enough about writing I would pursue it regardless, but I'm not sure if it puts the excitement in my stomach anymore...maybe it's just a phase I'm going through? Yeah, probably.

Death Cab and baby birds

--The other night, I saw my favorite band, Death Cab for Cutie, in concert. I don't think it would be bold saying, "my life is now complete." Ben Gibbard's vocals were completely flawless, and he's a really humble guy. He seems like such a cool person; I want to be his friend. The set list was very diverse, ranging from Photobooth to The Sound of Settling to newer songs like Grapevine Fires and Cath... I'll never forget how beautiful I Will Follow You into the Dark sounded acapella. It was incredible. Matt Costa was good too. His performance of Mr. Pitiful my favorite with his bouncing up and down on the keyboard. He was full of energy, it was awesome. This concert definitely holds the top spot in my rankings.

--Somehow, baby birds and their mother have been living in the ceiling of the journalism room for the past few weeks. Recently, it has been noticeable how much the babies have grown because of the constant chirps and little pitter patters of their tiny feet across the ceiling tiles. Today, the janitor came to class to "take care" of the situation. He set up his ladder and started to climb. Suddenly, I remembered how angry mother birds get when humans are around her babies. I made a run for it. I wasn't about to get attacked by a bird. From behind a glass window in the computer lab, I watched the janitor start lifting the ceiling tiles. As he did, remains of bird nest fell from the ceiling on to the floor. I started to get nervous. What if the mom bird came back?! That would be terrifying! The janitor reached into the ceiling and pulled out an furry baby bird. He set the bird on the table and it started flailing around and eventually wound up flailing itself on to the floor. Two more babies followed after. Another janitor came in claiming he would take them home and care for them. Later on, the mother bird came back to the ceiling *after the tiles were in place, thank goodness* and she was not happy at all. Her ferociously angry chirping was what gave it away. I feel bad for her; the babies were pretty cute. I guess their new home is a cardboard box, which is definitely worse than living in a ceiling, and their new mom is a man.

--It's finally starting to hit me hard that this is for real. It's actually happening; it's not just talk anymore, it's actions. My decisions, our decisions, are playing out like I knew they would, but I was not prepared for all of these days to approach so quickly.

--Celebrating my brother's 20th Birthday was like getting a brick thrown at my head. It was a serious reality check. I love my brother, he's one of my best friends, and I look at him so highly. I'm incredibly sad that our time left together is so limited. I didn't even realize until his Birthday that we have less than a month to spend together. Then, he leaves for Florida and I'll be on my way to North Carolina for a little while. It's a mystery when I'll see him next. I know I won't be celebrating his 21st Birthday with him and that breaks my heart a little bit. I mean, I know we're growing up and moving in separate directions is part of that, but I wish it didn't have to happen this soon. I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. How is someone supposed to prepare for something like this, how does someone prepare to grow up?

--Another "whoa" realization happened with my brother's Birthday. I'm going to be 9 hours away from my parents when I'm in college. 9 hours is very far. It will be really fun living in an apartment with 3 cool people, but I am honestly nervous. I rely on my parents for so much in life and I'm going to be forced to learn to take care of myself FAST. When I'm having a bad day and I want my mommy I won't be able to run home because the home where she is will be in North Carolina. I know it will be incredibly difficult at first, but I also know that I can do this and I need this. I could use some independence and responsibility in my life. It's coming in August whether I'm ready or not. And I guess this all goes back to the whole weird life changes, growing up thing which I can handle with a little support from family/friends and confidence in myself. It's going to be okay. Everything is going to work itself out the way it's supposed to. I just have to keep reminding myself that.

--With all of this happening so quickly and with these realizations, I've concluded that I need to take better advantage of the time I do have with my brother and my parents. I don't want to feel like I've taken them for granted and I want them to know how much I care. Regardless, I can confidently say, we're all still going to love each other the same no matter who's in what state, and that's very comforting to know.